Return to Thriving Mode

The past few weeks have been challenging to say the least. There have been so many changes in my world, I can’t keep up with them. Survival mode has kicked, which isn’t always a good place to be, however it is essential to our being.

Surviving basically means to remain alive or to exist. It’s usually a place of stress or busyness trying to connect all the dots in one day. I see many people in survival mode. Their faces and bodies reflect the internal bitterness they feel for merely existing. Their life is no longer about doing things that make them happy or what makes them feel good.

Instead they slip into zombie state. If you have ever seen a zombie movie, you will see that being a zombie is all about survival. They wander around, minimal interaction with others, not being able to feel or connect with others. They just exist looking for their next meal, living day to day. Watch the The Walking Dead. There are zombies or “Walkers” in that show.  Ironically, the main characters are in a zombie state themselves…there main purpose is about survival. Being in that state of mind creates a whole host of issues because feelings and prosperity become secondary.

Ever feel like a zombie? Ever feel like you are a wandering from one place to the next in a monotone state? I feel this way when I become overwhelmed and over busy. Sometimes life happens and things pile up because everything seems to happen at one time. This time in my life, multiple changes happened all at once. None of the changes were bad. In fact, they were all blessings! However, in the midst of those blessings, I was pushed way out of my comfort zone. Being out of my comfort zone is scary as you know what!! So, while orbiting outside my old self, being stretched into new territory, my  way to adjust to all of it was to kick into survival.  Luckily, I don’t have to fight off “Walkers” and stay in that state of mind. I still have a choice.

Like I said, survival is necessary, however it’s not where you want to take up permanent residence. We are blessed in our country because we have choice. We can choose how we want our lives to be.

I noticed while I was in this survival state, I forgot, ignored, or got out of the habit of doing me. I forgot about my dreams, my wants, my needs, because there just wasn’t enough time in the day…right? Wrong! Existing for survival can backfire. Putting yourself on the back burner for a “greater cause” and not making “me time” for too long will eventually blow up into nasty, self destructive and self sabotaging habits. In truth, there is no greater cause than taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Coming down from all my changes. Accepting the blessings in my life, I still felt out of sorts and frustrated. “On edge” is another way to explain the feeling. After walking the line with my own self destructive behaviors and having ridiculous arguments with the love of my life, I realized I had forgotten something extremely important; survival mode is a temporary state and should no way become a permanent place of being. In this realization, I had to go through my self-care checklist (everyone should have one of these by the way) and evaluate what I needed to do to move from surviving to thriving. For me, writing and yoga are the two things that move me from survive to thrive. Those two things seem so simple, but in the midst of my survival chaos, it took a tremendous amount of effort and a certain amount of discipline to switch gears. I also have vivid memories of a time in my life where I was only surviving and not thriving and I can tell you, that is not a place I want to return to.

So today, I have recommitted my spirit back to my body and have officially switched gears. One yoga class and one blog does wonders for my soul. What are you going to do to thrive instead of survive today? Please share. Sharing is caring and your story or idea can be a life changing experience for you and somebody else.

How Do Dreams Come True?

Dreams come true one day at a time.. Watch them unfold when you make a daily commitment to following your heart and believing in yourself.

A daily commitment means everyday you wake up and decide you are going to do at least one thing that day to bring you closer to your goal. At least one thing. Then in time add more things.

Each day, courageously move forward knowing God has your back.

This doesn’t mean things will be perfect. Setbacks, issues, catastrophes are guaranteed to happen. But so what! Does that mean you stop? NO! This is where the learning and the growth takes place. This is where God uses your story as a testimony to others.

God places a dream in your heart.. A purpose you have the responsibility to fulfill.. A service to deliver or a problem to solve. Maybe a business that creates jobs for families, a beautiful painting for someone to admire, a comforting song to be heard.. A child to teach. Whatever it is, God has put it in you and on you to share your gifts with the world!

So do it today. Stop making excuses or coming up with reasons that keep you from achiving your goal. The enemy doesn’t mind when you live comfortably uncomfortable… It’s when you decide to move forward that he will fight you. He doesn’t want you to move in faith and trust God.

“Im Not Good with Change…”

“I’m not good with change…don’t do well with change… Change is hard.. Change is scary…. This is just how I am.”

Have you ever said something like this? Is change something you struggle with? Then you need to hear this. Change is necessary and required to live an authentic and happy life. Avoiding change is not having faith in God and your ability to overcome adversity.

But “I am happy.. I don’t need to change anything.” So you say.. Really? Are you? I’m sure you can think of at least one area in your life that needs change. Your eating? Your health and exercise habits? Your money situation? Your personal relationships?

There’s something that needs your attention, correct? And since you haven’t given that area of your soul the necessary attention it deserves, a secret struggle emerges. A struggle that creates an underlying resentment and sadness. You want to blame others for not doing what they need to do, but really the final decision to change comes down to you.

There are some things in life that require a temporary hold or what others consider “acceptance.” Be careful with acceptance. You can accept that someone else will never change, but don’t ever accept you can’t change yourself because that’s a lie told to you by your ego or the enemy. The areas that need change in regards to living an emotionally and physically healthy life can only be avoided or “accepted” for so long. Eventually it catches up to you. You get diabetes from your eating habits, lung cancer from smoking, liver damage from drinking, or a broken relationships that falls apart because you didn’t do your part to make things better.

Change happens whether you want it to or not. Deal with it or let it defeat you.

I know we can’t be perfect. But we can treat our bodies and our spirits better than we do. In treating ourselves better, we end up treating others better and the positive energy around us increases. In return we are stronger and better equipped to deal with the next change challenge God puts before us.

God has blessed us with this day and with our body. Treat yourself and each day as if it’s a gift from God because it is. His grace is a blessing we can’t waste on negative and unhealthy habits or beliefs. It’s a challenge to change those habits. But if it were easy we wouldn’t need God.

Have faith in God and have faith in yourself. Make the choice to tackle hard change to be a better you.

My Important Mother’s Day Message

Today is Mother’s Day. There are so many beautiful things I can say about honoring mothers today, but there’s something I need to share that runs deep within me. Something so important I can’t not share it…

This is my Mother’s Day message.

In all the lessons we choose to instill in the hearts and minds of our children, one of the most important lessons we can pass on is the power of happiness and love.

It is a cold and dark misconception to believe that authentic happiness and self love equal selfishness. That’s a fear based lie the enemy of guilt tries to trick us with.

Our purpose, above all things, is to love. It’s the greatest gift. But before love can be given it has to be received by loving ourselves. We are all children of God and in not loving ourself we are not loving His spirit within us.

It’s one thing to say it.. But, you have to live it. Live the love God has for you. Make it a constant and deliberate action treat yourself in a loving way.

Be mindful of how you speak about yourself, how you treat your body and the relationships you choose. If in anyway you are not acting in love toward yourself, you are not acting in love with God and your children are watching you and learning how they should love.

Yes, your children are listening to the negative words you speak about yourself (and others),  the negative words you allow others to say to you, and any unhealthy situations you live with.

When we act in a loving way, we radiate God’s light and people are drawn to us not repelled by the negative forces within.

When we love ourself, we can express that love tenfold to our friends, spouses, family, and God. What’s even better is we can receive and really FEEL that love.

In return, when we love ourself, we find happiness, while anger, insecurities, unhealthy habits, shame and insecurities diminish.. Not disappear but shrink in relation to the love we find strength in.

On this Mother’s Day make a decision to love and honor the Holiness that dwells within you. Be an example and SHOW your children the “how” behind love and happiness. Give yourself the gift of receiving the highest level of love.

Happy Mother’s Day!

My Word Affair

I have a love affair with words the way others might have a love affair with a microphone or a guitar. So many times I’ve tried to break up and deny myself, but this is true love. It runs deep.

It’s hard having this love. The relationship is long and intense. There’s nothing trivial or fly by night about it. Believe me, I wish it were. But every time I walk away, accepting the end, I’m always pulled back by an image or idea that’s demands I write it down. So I do. Then it starts all over again.

Of course, in that moment I’m hooked like with that of a kiss. I fall deep. It’s codependent and dark. This tug of war of “give it all up to pursue love” or don’t do it at all plays games with me because writing takes commitment. I have yet to fully commit myself. I didn’t feel it necessary till now as writing requires my full attention.

My words demand to be set free or they will leave. Even if it’s just here. But if they aren’t expressed they promise to leave forever.

Can you believe that? They are threatening me this time!!! I’ve taken them for granted too many years. No longer will I not take them seriously.

I’m deeply committed. I love them too much to never have them again. I will do my part and share them.

Do you have gifts to share? Something you’ve kept to yourself. Gifts are meant to be given. Please share :).

I’m writing and I really have no idea

I’m writing and I really have no idea what I want to write about. I have so many ideas but I can’t choose which direction to go in.

I promised myself to write everyday and post as much as possible…even when nothing makes sense or seems ready.

That’s the thing. If I wait for the perfect moment or the right circumstances, I’ll never get anything done. I must have faith and make a move even when the direction isn’t clear. I have to write even when I’m not sure what to write about. Interestingly enough, as I’m writing this I am able to make a connection to one of my ideas….

 

If we are waiting until we are “perfect” to step out in faith we aren’t being faithful because “perfect” will never come…

 

Too many times we feel like we need to have all our ducks in a row, to check all the boxes, or to be the most “Godly” before we act in faith. This is a fear tactic. Fear is what keeps us in an unhappy place. Fear  keeps us stuck in the illusion that we have to be perfect before God. There is only one perfect being. Don’t believe that ego trick because we will never come close. We are not God, and to think our imperfect human brain could even come close to the likes of God is essentially mocking Him.

Just remember, God doesn’t operate in fear. God operates in love. If we can be our most loving selves, then we are closest to God. It has nothing to do with perfection.

God sees and knows us in ways we can’t even comprehend. God knows our past, our present and our future. He knows every detail down to the “hairs” on our head. God knows our potential and our heart. He knows everything and still loves us.

“He knows the depths of my heart and he loves me the same…” ( Indescribable, Chris Tomlin )

Such an AMAZING GOD.

So, move forward in faith and stop waiting for the perfect moment that will never come.

Don’t Be Afraid of Failure

In order to get where you are meant to be, you have to fail. You have to come up against adversity or devastation to realize your strengths.

Unfortunately, too many times, we see those moments of being knocked down as some sort of punishment. We get stuck in a place where we beat ourself up over mistakes and bad choices. What we need to understand is we have to know what not to do to know what to do.

Sure people like our parents or verses from the Bible, tell us which paths are best to avoid mistakes. But our parents or our friends can’t tell us about every path because they don’t know every path. And the Bible does cover everything (if you actually read it), however people in the Bible had to make mistakes to learn the lessons from God and to rely on faith to bring them through.

I have made sooooooooo (lots of o’s I can add) many mistakes… Horrible choices that hurt me and others I love. But in so many ways those not so pretty parts of my life had to come to pass so I could learn real faith and come through the valley.

We have to pass through to become new.

I see so many people, friends, family, trying to avoid the valley.. Trying to do all the right things so they don’t have to go there. But let me tell you, life happens whether you want it to or not. So instead of avoiding it, face it.

Face the struggle, the addiction, the anger, the sadness, the insecurity, the necessary changes and take the responsibility for those  the decisions you need to make to live how you want to live.

In avoiding difficult situations and decisons because they are scary and don’t feel good, you only perpetuate your unhappiness.

Or you can just do it. Do the work.. The nasty, frustrating, seemingly impossible work necessary to come through the valley. Trust yourself and trust God to bring you through so you can discover your new found strength.